I never knew I’d want to be a Googleoid© when I grew up.

                       

I imagine now, the thousand times some young version of me was asked: “what do you want to be when you grow up?” Depending on the fascination of the time, who was asking or which TV channel I was watching, I would answer “lawyer”, “businessman” or “WWF wrestler”.

Looking back, hindsight makes me wonder how I didn’t see that the latter would become ‘WWE’ thanks to a copyright dispute (courts were always going to side with the company sporting a cute panda as its logo) but not even a Hawkings-esque hindsight would have allowed me to see that one day I would change my answer to the entire question so radically. If I knew then what I know now, I’d surely reply: ‘when I grow up, I want to be a Googleoid©: An evolved variety of the human species whose life is perfectly aligned to, and simplified by, Google.’

Now before you dismiss this as fan-boy nonsense, rest assured this isn’t Mac vs. PC playground style handbags at dawn – “ooh people like them just because they’re pretty” / “yeah but you lot get viruses” blah blah – this is serious! Computer operating system? Pah! – how about an e-life operating system:

Wanna check the meaning of a word? Google.

Wanna house hunt and check the area without leaving your home? Google Earth.

Wanna get to a friend’s house and not get lost? Google Maps.

Wanna sort all your email, avoid spam and get all your attachments previewed? Goole Mail.

Wanna... you know what... feel free to extend this with whatever digitised medium you chose and you’ll find... be it library, shopping, video, pictures or, most recently, social networking, Google’s version will just be BETTER. In fact, recent discussion in the music industry has found that the singer, Carly Simon, was actually an electronic prophet and her 1977 hit ‘nobody does it better’, was actually a prophetic reference to Google.

And they’re not resting on their laurels either: Google+ is on its way and although I haven’t been one of those invited to try it (I’m still an ‘apprentice’ Googloid, nowhere near the ‘3rd degree’ level yet), I can’t wait to join. Why? Go google all the reason’s it’ll be better than (invade-your-)Facebook, or (who’s-ever-been-to-)Myspace; I have complete faith it will JUST BE BETTER! Blind faith, you ask? Not in the slightest – just think of its track record.

Actually, I’m so sure of its superiority let’s just move argument on. Let’s just take Google+ as the defacto fact-finding, video-viewing, social-cycle-syncing device of the future and take the next logical step: get Google in charge.

That’s right: Google Government!

See, if Google made hospitals, no one would get sick.


If Google made schools, illiteracy would disappear.


If Google made Carlsberg... well...the mind simply boggles.

So, feel free to leave whatever archaic electronisizing you currently do, Google with us – that’s right come and Get On Our Great Little Endeavour.

Here’s to waiting for the Google+ invite with a big mulit-coloured, heavily pixilated smile.